The Ninetieth: Maroon Shirt

You were in my dream last night.

Everyone was sitting around and you were just...there. I knew as well that you hadn't been there for a while and it was somewhat of a big deal. You didn't say anything, you just stood there smiling at everyone whilst the rest of us chatted. I remember Lani's face was a little shocked, but no one was sad. I think some were laughing at the stunt you'd pulled; convincing us you weren't there for so long only to suddenly reappear.

If only.

The Eighty-Ninth: You

I've tried so many different combinations of words to express even part of what I've been feeling this week.



They found you last week, after six months of searching. It cast everyone into an even deeper level of pain than they thought was possible. I keep feeling so angry at you but then so unimaginably sad at the thought of how you spent the last months/weeks/days of your life. Every time I wake up this week I spend a few seconds pulling my head into reality then immediately think of you. Thoughts for the rest of the day don't really stray too far from there.



This changes everything.

It changes everything any of my friends have ever come to know.

Fuck Matt, fuck fuck fuck.

Why? Just, all of it. Why?

You had a world of potential, of people that loved you. Of opportunities and adventures.



Now you're forever forging your own path, I hope you find peace.