It's a hard thing, figuring out the things that you think you deserve. I mean, the term 'deserve' is so powerful. What does one have to do in order to deserve something in return? Is it possible to have gone through something so horrible that you simply expect something good to come along to balance it out? That you "deserve" a break? I'm not sure how I feel about the notion, but I've been told by good friends that I deserve better when it comes to matters of the heart. I think that's the most common sort of phrase used when talking about a bad relationship.
"You deserve better."
What has earned you the right to expect any better than what you've already had? Congratulations! You can go up a level now! You've passed 'shitty' and have deserved 'slightly less shitty' on the Deserving Scale.
There's a chance you might continue down the same road of not-that-great relationships, right? You could just be attracted to the same sort of people, not realising that you could have more than you've already had before. I feel like that's where I'm at.
I wish I could tell you that I did feel like I deserve something better, but I hardly think I qualify.
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