There were no little TV screens on the back of the seats.
There were no little TV screens above us near the lights and air con.
There were no little TV screens at all.
This isn't a princess issue. I'm not complaining because I'm someone who just has to have entertainment on a flight. I had an issue with this because normally I use films to distract me for the entirety of the time that I'm in a 180 tonne object 12km above the ground. Luckily though, an old friend was flying home on the same flight as me and we couldn't stop talking for the whole 4 hours.
I discovered something though.
I discovered the source of my anxieties that are to do with flying and other such things. It's the fact that there are so many variables out of my control. I'm not a control freak and I very often let things go wild, but when it comes flights, I don't like the fact that I don't know when the plane is going to jump up and down. I don't like that something could happen that could lead to intense disaster. I've always loved flying. I've flown on horribly long flights before. Yet going to and from domestic cities, somehow I'd developed an anxiety of flying. Lately, I appear to have fought and won my battle with this fear though. I'm quite proud of that.
Another great fear of mine is fear of loss. I'm almost 100% sure that I've mentioned this before so I won't go into it, but it makes so much sense to me now I can look back and see how I think. I have a constant, almost innate fear that the people closest to me are in trouble, or if I leave, I might not see them again. This fear is just the same as the flying anxiety. It's something I can't control or predict, therefore it scares me.
It's just so hilariously annoying. How the mind can work against us so criminally. I wish there was a way to let all of it go.
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