The Forty-Second: Abnormal

The thoughts in my mind gain momentum right before I sleep. It's like they know that they're about to be put away, restrained, so they deliberately swirl harder and faster. I think about things that I wouldn't normally think about, like events that will happen in several weeks time, or things that have affected me in the past but I choose to consciously ignore during the daytime. And then there's other things that I ponder of often, like my Oscar's acceptance speech, Disneyland and moving to Melbourne. They're definitely pre-slumber material.

I also think about friendships, loss, death and health. Death seems to come with the darkness of night, which is annoying for someone who sleeps in a pitch black room.

Now, for example, I am writing my blog at 3:30am because I can't sleep, and my thoughts were betraying me in such a way that I needed to log into social networking to make me feel normal again. Knowing that there's others out there, awake and fatigued as I am, really helps when I'm feeling as if the world has gone to sleep and left me to my own devices. Devices and imagination. A dangerous combination.

Perhaps tonight I shall dream of Leonardo DiCaprio and Joseph Gordon-Levitt and wonder if they're attempting to plant an idea in my subconscious mind.

I wouldn't mind if they did.