"Today when I woke, the sky fell down.
I passed by the day, walking through clouds."
I wrote that the other morning on the way to the shops with a friend. She was driving and I was quiet, silent actually. I stared out the passenger seat window and looked up at the sky (no this won't turn into Death Cab lyrics), and I literally felt like everything was falling down around me. I've really been feeling everything lately. By "feeling everything", I mean that every thing gets me down. Right down to not having the right ingredients in the kitchen to make something. Horrible isn't it. Well it is.
The major event that triggered this though was the phone call that I received from a Melbourne film production office telling me that they're actually starting their shoot about 4 weeks after the original production commencement date. This means that if I were to go over to Melbourne for the work experience I originally planned for, I would only have about 10 days on set before I would have to fly home and go to Europe.
It went from 4 weeks to 10 days.
Once I get back from Europe, I have two operations, both of which will improve my quality of life dramatically, but will put me out of action until October-ish. Then from there, I have about a month before moving to Melbourne. Then I'll need a job rah rah rah rah etc.
It's very easy to fall into a pattern of feeling hopeless.
To feel like you're constantly running into walls.
To think that things might not work out.
To feel inadequate.
No comments:
Post a Comment